Love and Understanding, A Book Review and Parents of LGBT*

A Departure from Script by Rochelle Hollander Schwab, listened to on Audible.

Parts of this book were hard to sit through. It was well worth the experience, though. I say the following with love and understanding.

The journey of acceptance spoken of in this book is individualistic for each person, LGBT and each of their family members, particularly parents. Faith is an integral part of many people’s lives. The hopes and dreams (expectations) parents have for their children are filled with generations of traditions and values, regardless of where a parent or family member lands on the spiritual spectrum.

My mother is still mourning her expectations, but as I grow happier, she sees what was missing when none of us accepted me for me.

I’ve been an out lesbian for over 20 years. Despite that extent of time, only for the last six years have I fully accepted my orientation. My acceptance was a trigger for my parents. They realized finally that my happiness was hindered by my individual, yet parent-supported, parent-enabled, lack of acceptance. My support of LGBT youth in an effort to help them find acceptance of themselves by themselves sooner in life has put the issue in front of them so grandly and publicly that my parents are now having to come out as parents of a lesbian to their church friends. My parents are having to dig into themselves and their faith to figure out where their lines are drawn, which of those lines are based in bigotry and not faith, and which lines need to be erased based on their understanding of their spiritual truths.

Faith is their main concern, but it’s not their only concern. My mother finally broke through some of her pain to admit that, though she never tried to “gender-police” me, she still had hoped and dreams (again, expectations) that I would find a man secure enough in himself to accept my own strength and strong personality, grandchildren, and for wanted me to be happy. She knew I was different “from other girls” my entire life, but she was afraid I would experience hardship if I couldn’t love a man. “The world can be harsh. You’re dating pool is smaller. I don’t want you hurt physically, emotionally, or to be alone for the rest of your life!” These same concerns are why I took until I was in my early 20s to come out and another 15 or so years to find self-acceptance. After years of open, honest communication, we’re all healing. I hope other parents can use their love to find understanding.

Some LGBT might agree about the lack of coverage in the middle with Sheila and Naomi. After their friendship’s course, I still think Sheila’s missing some understanding. I won’t ruin it for you, though. Friendships are full of a maintenance requirement. Maybe some day they’ll be able to discuss the possible lack of understanding.

Author Ann McMan, LGBTQ, and Religion

Two of the most well known works by Ann McMan, “the Accidental Author”, are Hoosier Daddy and Jericho. I was slow to take up Ms. McMan’s stories, but I am very glad I finally did! The most recent story to which I listened was the December 2015 released Backcast.

One of the things that I admire about Ann McMan as an author is that she writes from a place that allows her to speak frankly and authoritatively regarding religion and LGBTQ issues. She does this respectfully, not pigeon-holing the whole lot of them, but not letting them get away with their ignorance either. It’s a delicate road to walk. Based on her use of scripture across all of her books to which I have listened, I’d say she spent some time with the Bible. She very well may have been raised in one or more of the southern states. Here’s the crux… If you’re gay and a Christian, gays will give you a ration, because you’re a Christian. Christian’s will give you a ration, because you’re gay. It sucks. Maybe, at least the LGBTQ folks could just not be so hard on us for a spiritual belief, regardless of their anger of own spiritual beliefs or lack thereof… Anyway, I respect Ms. McMan for her work and what I perceive she is trying to accomplish with it — accomplish in addition to excellent story telling….

I have heard several books of late that dive into the ugliness that represents our not-just-American-but-particularly-American religious handling of LGBTQ young people. I know it extends to older people, but older people have at least developed some bit of defense against the crap that goes on in our world. Young people don’t have those tools. Anyway, it’s hard to read it. It’s hard to take it in and allow it “to be” in a way that will allow us to actually learn from that crap and figure out how to do something better for kids. We can see how stupid that crap is. We can see how it affects kids. Some of us know exactly how it affected us. Listening to it, hearing it, it’s hard. It engenders anger and frustration. It’s reality, though. I feel like I have to listen to all of the stories like that, because I have to have the most accurate sense of those things and understand them. I haven’t experienced *all* of it. I can only learn from other peoples’ accounts.

You can find Ann McMan’s works through Amazon, Audible, or her web site.

Patterns and Practices Online Resources

RESOURCES
Design Patterns – Object Oriented Design
https://www.google.com/search?q=object-oriented+design&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

Domain-driven Design: A Step by Step Guide
http://www.developerfusion.com/article/9794/domain-driven-design-a-step-by-step-guide-part-1/

Domain-driven Design Quickly
http://freecomputerbooks.com/Domain-Driven-Design-Quickly.html

Domain-driven Design and a discussion of where code belongs (video)
https://vimeo.com/43598193

Behavior-driven Development Combined with Domain-driven Design
http://www.infoq.com/news/2015/02/bdd-ddd

Paradigm Shifting: Rethinking ASP.NET MVC
https://gregorybeamer.wordpress.com/2010/03/04/paradigm-shifting-rethinking-asp-net-mvc/

Domain-driven Design by Eric Evans (Book)

Onion Architecture
http://jeffreypalermo.com/blog/the-onion-architecture-part-1/
What Are the Typical Layers in an Onion Architecture?
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/18166740/what-are-the-typical-layers-in-an-onion-architecture
Peeling Back the Onion Architecture
https://www.develop.com/onionarchitecture
Onion Architecture with ASP.NET MVC
https://onionarch.codeplex.com/
Laying it Out Onion Architecture
http://eohmicrosoft.blogspot.fr/2012/08/laying-it-out-onion-architecture.html

Anybody Can Learn
https://code.org/
Scratch (MIT)
https://scratch.mit.edu/

Six Revisions – 10 Web-based Sandbox Tools
http://sixrevisions.com/tools/sandbox-testing-code-snippets/

Web Hosting Reviews List – 10 Free Online Sandbox Tools for Code Testing
http://www.webhostingreviewslist.com/development/10-free-online-sandbox-tools-for-code-testing/

MSDN Patterns and Practices
https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/ff921345.aspx

 

Azure, MVC .NET, and a Sad Story for Microsoft

The number of technologies they have working together is brilliant! The number of bugs they have and deal with daily is brilliant and phenomenal. The attention they pay to some of the finer details is pathetic. If I did what they do with Azure at work, I would be in some serious verbal counseling sessions. Unfortunately, without true developer documentation, i.e., documentation that expresses the intent and direction and how-to for specific scenarios, apps won’t get written. If apps aren’t written, Microsoft won’t be used for apps that are written. That reduces their technology dominance. It reduces the consumers dependence on their technology.

Over the last several weeks, the documentation on the Azure website is really not working for me to merge, integrate, or allow Azure AD (active directory) to handle all of the Authentication (auth) for us. It seems, on the surface, like it should be easy, but (and maybe it is as simple as my colleague suggests and “seems like a piece is missing”), but my experience has been less than successful. I think someone needs to sit down with a Microsoft rep and actually attempt to use Azure and Visual Studios together in front of them. I know I’m a flawed human being and that, many times, I can over complicate some things, while at other times, I can break things down to their bear bones and make sense where others can’t see it.

This took me over a week to figure out, and that’s with my experience with AD Auth in my current position. *shrug* Something’s wrong, and that’s a Microsoft issue that they’ll have to figure out. I’m maybe not as smart as I hope to be. I don’t know. I just know that “one simple solution” is what should have been provided by those stupid download apps they offer, but the apps were not complete. The documentation referred to Visual Studios (VS) 2012 and VS 2013, which are, in very large ways, not the same as VS2015. It should not have been something for which I had to weed through 75 blogs (including the many Azure documentation pages) to get to….

This maybe is a place for Microsoft to learn from the experience, even though they have unfortunate tech writers from various parts of the world apologizing to us. “I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.” “Yes, that’s now been addressed, thank you for letting us know. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.” and so on, when the people who are embarrassed for the developers’ inconvenience are not the ones that are responsible for it, are not the ones that put a product out and changed it midstream, who didn’t finish the product before they released it, when the product ABSOLUTELY is not “the product” without adequate and complete documentation and not documentation that refers to software that is 2-3 years out-of-date. I could go on, but I will spare you. I will say, that on the outside, Microsoft has something that some of us have dreamed of, but it fails when it can’t do what it is promising; as in, “here! do this and you’re done!” No. “do this” is not “done!”.

Microsoft has, for the last 5-6 years, been herding us/developers toward .NET MVC. VS is ready for it. VS works with it, but NONE of Azure is even close. “… eat your own dog food…” NONE of the examples or downloads are .NET MVC.

Last, a slightly separate, but, yet, related grumble/bitch…. Windows Phone app dev can’t use Portable Class Libraries, a Microsoft technology. My supervisor tells me that Windows Phone is a Nokia operating system and that this might be the reason for the incongruency. I don’t know. I just know that Microsoft needs to slow down and pay attention to some of their finer details if they want to dominate the field in technology and, in particular, “apps” and “mobile apps”.

Books

Books can be found on Amazon by Clicking Here.

Additional information about the first title can be found by Clicking Here.

Upcoming books include:
* LGBTQ Outing My Childhood (expected Early November)
* Domain Driven Design, Piece de Resistance, A Geek Lesbian Guide (expected late September to Early October)
* MVC and Mobile Design, A Geek Lesbian Guide (expected late September to late November)

Upcoming Tidings

Today I’m being interviewed for the first time. It’s both scary and exciting. I hope I don’t trip over my own *cough*… The podcast should be released soon.

The mission of all of this is to combine various talents to provide a source of funding for LGBTQ supporting non-profits, particularly for young people.

  • The books are behind, but are definitively still works in progress.
  • In a few short weeks, I’ll be releasing a mobile app that could affect the U.S. economy. It’s base is not novel, but what the app will provide to those who want its contents will be indeed a novel source of potential wealth.

All things in life are best when served with a cold libation after a LOT of work. This experience will be no different. Stay tuned!!!

We Pull

You push.
I push.
We pull.

Division among conquerors,
Struggle to maintain.
Avoiding, afraid, of a life so mundane.

What if the world gathered
in connected places.
The peoples of so many different races.

A life less ordinary
is that for which we strive.
A new beginning to a different life.

With love and compassion,
we could be different.
Together, we could be magnificent.

We strive. We thrive. We cry.
Afraid, so very fearful.
To not taste that rain, would be tearful.

Given an opportunity,
so different from anything else.
We approach quietly, long limbed, with stealth.

With caution and even timidity,
Our hearts soar out, almost against our will.
We ask, “Why?!?… Are these for me?” My feet planted, my heart can’t stay still.

So many lives and souls
left to reach.
Our world needs us. They need what we teach.

Can we hold hands,
even if it makes so very little sense.
Can we work together to build love with our essence?

Can we stand tall,
despite all the things that say we shouldn’t?
Should we push, pull, and listen? Loving what we wouldn’t.

A newest beginning
after facing a fall.
Can we grab a new ring, not the brass one at all.

Can we see beyond
our pain and anger?
Can we see the familiar in the heart of a stranger?

How are we different
from others we’ve seen.
This is like being crushed in worlds between.

None of it has
even the slightest lick of logic,
No matter how many Is we dotted and Ts we crossed.

Yet here we as a 3D triangle
we stand,
Alone and yet hand in hand in hand.